Do you see opportunity?

I’ve been pondering the word opportunity a lot lately.

It started at Urbana when the president of Intervarsity told the stories of some people who became Christians in college. They moved on to change the world in incredible ways, and each chose to follow Jesus because of one of their friends.

He said something to the effect of, “What you do for God in college may be the most important thing you ever do.”

This got me thinking. The people I know and interact with right now represent unique opportunities that I will never have again to change the world. My life could have an immense impact just through being someone’s friend and caring about them.

We studied the first 18 verses of James at Bible study. What kept standing out to me was that trials and difficult times are opportunities. They are an opportunity for us to stand firm for what is right, to grow in maturity to the point of lacking nothing, to fulfill our purposes, and to earn “the crown of life.” James sees these opportunities and it brings him joy.

Then the speaker at Intervarsity large group brought these two ideas together. He spoke from the parable of the unfruitful fig tree in Luke 13:6-9. He told a story of a guy named Keith. Think of the scariest college student you’ve ever met and this guy was like that. But the speaker and his friends poured their hopes, friendship, and work into Keith. They persevered through all the ups and downs and saw Keith’s life transformed!

After large group, someone trusted me and a couple friends enough to talk about the character of God and how he felt about life etc., even though we were all Christians and he wasn’t. He said he trusted us because of a time we all took a walk together to look at the stars. Can changing the world be as simple as talking a walk with someone to look at the stars?

I watched the movie The Soloist last night. The story centers on two very different men, each in their own kind of destitution. Through friendship, they essentially save each other’s lives.

When faced with a bad circumstance, a difficult person to love, deep suffering, or a hopeless situation I often focus on the darkness. In every day conversations and interactions I fail to consider their possibilities. What if instead, I looked for the opportunities?

Do you see the opportunity to love this person? To show someone Jesus? For change and transformation? To grow? For goodness and life to flourish?

I want to be able to say yes.

I see opportunity.

Hello Hurricane

I think the death of the doubter finally began today.

Yes!!

Thank you to my amazing friends who advocated for me, listened to my rants, believed in me, and let me cry. I owe you so much.

Today, purely out of grace (because I certainly didn't deserve it!), a stressful disagreement was resolved and I got to spend a couple hours with someone I love spending time with. I certainly didn't expect that!

I also realized today that my current state can best be defined by 50% of Switchfoot's album Hello Hurricane. Here are some samples:

"I am my own affliction. There aint no drug to make me well. I made a mess of me. Wanna get back to less of me."

"Your love is a symphony, all around me, runnin' to me. I've got my eyes wide open. [I will be] keeping my hopes unbroken."

"Don't let go. Don't give up hope. All is forgiven. All is not lost. Become who you are."

"Do you love me enough to let me go? To let me follow through? To let me fall for you?"

"There's a storm up ahead. Hello, hurricane. You're not enough. You can't silence my love."

"We rise and fall together. Our hearts still beat below. You can't stand by forever. You're a kid with a bullet soul. Are you ready to go?"

Ready to go?

Yes.

Doubting Thomas

Tonight I feel like the Nicklecreek song "Doubting Thomas"

This morning I was full of anticipation, excitement, and confidence about going back to school. Then it took on moment to utterly shatter that. In its place I now have anxiety, weariness, and fear.

Is my faith that fragile? How can I suddenly be filled with such doubt?

And then something else wonderful happens, but I become filled with doubts about that! Who knew it would be so difficult to be thankful? Why is it so hard for me to trust?

Now I think my faith in the promises I've been given has deep roots. It's alive down there somewhere. I'm half writing this to prove myself an idiot when everything works out fine tomorrow.

Hopefully by tomorrow (or at least soon) I'll look back at this and say "Rachel, what an idiot you were to doubt."

Hopefully.

Til then, it's goodnight from Doubting Thomas.

Miss Potter

Today I watched the movie "Miss Potter". It tells the life story of the author and artist Beatrix Potter. Her books were among my favorites as a child and as a "writer" I figured it was probably a story that would captivate me. So, I accepted my mom's recommendation and watched it with her.

I did thoroughly enjoy it, but it made me think about something unexpected...

WARNING: This Contains Spoilers from "Miss Potter". This is a great movie, so feel free to skip this until you have seen it.

I expected the movie to be about a simple artist's triumph, not a love story. And, really, I'm not very sentimental. Most love stories usually don't sweep me off my feet. However, I think the unexpected, simple, and genuine nature of Beatrix's romance hooked me. The look on Norman's face when Beatrix accepted his marriage proposal plastered a goofy joyful smile on my face. Haha. :)

When I saw the story taking a tragic turn, I braced myself. "Oh, this is going to be a sad story," I said to myself. Sure enough, he was gone.

As Beatrix lay utterly broken on the floor in the dark I couldn't help but picture myself there.
My first reaction was, "That seals it. She was perfectly fine until love came along and ruined her life. It is better to remain connected in other ways to life and avoid that kind of heart destruction."

This is a question I wrestle with. Do I really want a man to come into my life whom I will deeply love? Is it really worth the likely heartbreak? Won't I probably end up with my face buried in the carpet for it? Shouldn't I fear love first and foremost?

Then two other phrases came into my mind: "What is love without much risk?" and "We are thankful for the time we have been given."

I know that love is all that matters in life; it's the only thing that lasts and what humans are meant for. But the very essense of love is risk. And that applies to all love, not just romantic love. True love extends itself without conditions of reward, return, or response. It is just an invitation and a gift. How vulnerable that makes the loving heart! But to choose to love is always worth the risk. Now, I feel romantic love is more complicated and elusive than that. However, I know in this area I need to keep reminding myself to trust The One who holds my heart to lead me to good places and to not shut myself off in fear from good gifts from Him. And when trouble comes from this broken world, I'll have to keep reminding myself that He has not only overcome those things, but He has experienced them. He has loved (and loves) with much risk.

As for the second phrase, I am currently standing at a point where I have to choose whether to enter into this risk or not. I don't know what's going to happen. But I've decided a few things. I need to let go and know that I want what He wants. He alone is trustworthy, so I want what He wants. :) Also, I've promised Him that beginning now I will each day be thankful for [and content with] the time I have been given from Him. This is a surprisingly difficult thing to do with sincerity. Maybe that's why it's actually a pretty effective attitude adjuster. When I can bring my heart and mind into alignment with "I want what He wants" and "I am thankful for the time I have been given" it brings me a great deal of peace and joy. *sigh of relief* That makes the unknown and the vulnerability a lot easier to carry. :)

Finally, this connects to lines that stream from my computer speakers right now. "Do you love me enough to let me go? To let me follow through? To let me fall for you?" So for now, I'll keep working on letting go.

And just as a ps...one of the dissatisfactions that I have with the beloved English language is that it provides only one word for love...that and the fact that lightning cannot be turned into a verb. Perhaps future English speakers will remedy this. :)