Tonight I feel like the Nicklecreek song "Doubting Thomas"
This morning I was full of anticipation, excitement, and confidence about going back to school. Then it took on moment to utterly shatter that. In its place I now have anxiety, weariness, and fear.
Is my faith that fragile? How can I suddenly be filled with such doubt?
And then something else wonderful happens, but I become filled with doubts about that! Who knew it would be so difficult to be thankful? Why is it so hard for me to trust?
Now I think my faith in the promises I've been given has deep roots. It's alive down there somewhere. I'm half writing this to prove myself an idiot when everything works out fine tomorrow.
Hopefully by tomorrow (or at least soon) I'll look back at this and say "Rachel, what an idiot you were to doubt."
Hopefully.
Til then, it's goodnight from Doubting Thomas.
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